"It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change"
- Charles Darwin
why emotions are important
Emotions are our internal system developed through evolution to enable us to adapt and be agile. They inform us about any change in our internal or external environment that is of significance for us. Emotions are automatic and continuous: We can't stop them whether we are aware of them or not. But we can learn to accept our emotions and listen to the information they provide so we can adapt to each situation. In other words:
1. To recognise that we experience emotions through our thoughts and body sensations. For example, the thought "I feel happy"could be connected to the body sensations "I feel butterflies in my stomach".
2. To be able to choose our response rather than react.
skills to become emotionally intelligent
There are proven skills which we can practice to become more emotionally intelligent:
Being in inner dialogue with our sensations and emotions.
Naming emotions and needs.
Increasing our tolerance to uncomfortable emotions.
Expressing emotions in a safe language.
Shifting emotions when appropriate.
Communicating openly and responsibly
Science has discovered that our success as a social species is linked to our ability to work with emotions in highly accurate and subtle ways. But our emotional wiring is installed at a very young age, not always in the most adequate way, and we may have to re-wire to take advantage of our emotions.Thanks to brain plasticity, it's possible to learn to be intelligent with our emotions at any age. And that's how:
how to develop skills to become emotionally intelligent
Anyone can increase their emotional intelligence from any point in time, by developing:
UNDERSTANDING
Learning about the latest developments in neuroscience can challenge our beliefs (often limiting beliefs) and help us understand how new strategies can lead to deal with emotions differently. Emotions can help us or derail us. We can learn how that happens and how it is possible to be truly in charge.
awareness
Becoming aware of our emotions and those of others. Within ourselves, we can understand our triggers, our thought patterns, how we react, what lowers or increases our emotional resilience. In relation to others, we can develop emotional and cognitive empathy. We start practicing the skills of inner dialogue, naming emotions, increasing tolerance to uncomfortable emotions, expressing emotions. Self assessment instruments such as MBTI can be used to support the development of self awareness.
choice
Awareness allows us to look at difficult situations with new eyes and take ownership of our emotions with curiosity and benevolence. The challenges or obstacles can suddenly take another meaning and require new decisions, behaviours and actions. We can then take effective actions to meet our needs, the needs of others and the demands of the situation so that we can function at our best. We can choose to shift our emotions and communicate responsibly.
EMBEDDING CHANGE
It's important to reflect on skills development, new behaviours and resulting changes in order to accelerate change and embed learning. By improving emotional literacy, we can regulate our emotions effectively, make choices and as a result adapt intelligently to everyday situations.
learn to master the power of emotions as part of a larger goal:
conflict management, stress and burnout, team engagement journey or cross cultural differences
Within different contexts:
team coaching, workshops and training, individual coaching or intensive sessions